In short, it is time for a new Nordic trend. Luckily, Finland has just the thing: sisu—a personality trait or philosophy combining inner strength, perseverance and a can-do attitude towards adversity. It comes from a country that has been through plenty. Ruled first by Sweden and then by Russia, Finland gained independence only in 1917, and fought the Soviet Union twice to keep it. Today its 1,350km-long border with Russia leaves it vulnerable to Vladimir Putin’s delusional revanchism. Yet the Finns have not panicked: indeed, an international study shows they are the happiest people in the world. The Finns, widely known for their stoicism, find this bemusing. If we are the happiest, goes a local refrain, how badly must everyone else be doing?
The Finnish Lifestyle Philosophy that Could Save Europe, Charlemagne, The Economist, October 30, 2025 (paywall)
I get it, you may be wondering where I am going with this idea of sisu and if it is worth it to take time in your busy day to find out. After all, you aren’t defending a border with Russia and you need to get on with leading the team, getting the board package sent out, and booking that long overdue dentist appointment.
Please, stick with me and read on as I quick as I can, outline three ways in which it has everything to do with our day-in-day-out work life.
- Sometimes we think that it is kind to coddle or rescue people or ourselves in the face of adversity, and yet it isn’t and we shouldn’t do it.
- Sometimes we don’t want to do what needs to be done, and yet we have to.
- Sometimes we don’t believe that we have what it takes, and yet we do.
Let’s do a shallow dive into each of these.
1. Adversity and Coddling
I have had many discussions with leaders about the tendency to want to be coddled or rescued or to coddle or rescue others (if you are thinking drama triangle, yep that’s it).
In the workplace coddling is not the same as kindness or compassion.1 It is more akin to other unhealthy behaviours such as bullying, in that it creates a toxic work environment of low self-confidence for individuals, diminished respect for others, and an over-all culture lacking in ideas, initiative, accountability, and enjoyment. In other words, you cannot coddle or rescue and have psychological safety, which you know I place great emphasis on (most recently here) for a thriving workplace.
When we believe that we or others around us are not capable of doing better or toughening up a little in the face of adversity, we undermine the wonder and amazement of being a human being and the value of our shared work.
Coddling is not the antidote to repressing or avoiding feelings and thoughts. It is another form of avoidance right up there with over-intellectualizing (leaning too much on fancy ideas and words and ignoring our experience) and over-analyzing (noodling instead of taking action). Humans have emotions and thoughts, and sometimes express those emotions and thoughts at work. This is okay and it doesn’t mean they are asking to be coddled.
Instead of coddling what happens if we get curious and poke at:
- Why am I trying to coddle or rescue this person from what they are feeling or thinking?
- Is my behaviour appropriate to my work role and responsibilities?
- How might I be making this situation worse?2
- Am I expecting to be coddled or rescued? What am I trying to avoid through coddling or rescuing?
- How can I best show up with compassion when I or someone else is facing adversity at work?
- What practices do I have for creating space to be objective with my feelings and thoughts (self-awareness) and to find and grow my grit (self-management)?
From my own experience with both, having grit is way more fun than being coddled or rescued.
2. Adversity and Doing
This one’s quick. Find and grow your grit, and you can do what needs to be done.
Adversity at work comes in big and small packages and sometimes it’s a toppling accumulation of both that we are just managing to ignore until the day we are running late, step in cat sick wearing our last clean pair of socks, get to the meeting just on time (but without our morning tea) only to receive criticism (or it feels like that is what is happening) on the report that we had stayed late and skipped breaks to get done.
We can find and grow our grit through reflective questions such as:
- What stories do I tell myself (nod to Brené Brown) about being frustrated, disappointed, or other feelings when facing adversity at work?
- How do these stories nurture or undermine my growth and well-being?
- How have I faced and overcome adversity at work? How do I tell this story?
- Who do I reach out to for support? Note that support is a very very different kettle of fish from coddling. See Reflections on Picking Leadership Pals.
- How do I recognize, nurture, and celebrate my grit?
- What habits do I have for doing what needs to be done, even when I don’t want to do it?
- What different habits do I need for doing what needs to be done, even when I don’t want to do it?
3. Adversity and Believing
What we believe about our abilities to face adversity sets our limits.
I’m not talking about limits that are like being lost in the wilderness with only a slightly used steak knife and I’m not talking about self-censorship (go ahead, feel the feels and name them). I’m talking about self-awareness and self-management of those feelings that arise in us when facing adversity at work.
Feelings are at their best clues that something is happening (awareness) that we need to pay attention to (manage), but too often we let our feelings rule the day and they become distractions from what is really happening and what we are capable of doing.
When we face adversity and the accompanying feelings that are then quickly followed by the story of “it’s too much”, or “why me”, “or I can’t do this”, we can learn to pause and stand back. By doing so, even a wee pinch of a step from the situation, we can begin to get a different perspective and to see that our feelings and accompanying beliefs may not be accurate and most definitely do not define us.
If we lean into that pause, even if it’s just for a space of one or two breaths, we can start to see more clearly that the thoughts and feelings around “I can’t do this” don’t have to be true. We can create space for better thoughts, such as “how might I do this?” (hint: ask others for help, delegate, query assumptions and habits, do something different …)
Let’s go back to the story of running late and stepping in the cat sick wearing the last clean pair of socks only to get to the meeting just on time to receive criticism. So far the day has not met expectations and understandably the feelings arise and we may even find ourselves saying “I can’t do this”.
Rather than coddling ourselves or waiting to be rescued, what might happen if we:
- Pause.
- Drop our shoulders and open our chest.
- Take two or three elongated breaths, in and out.
- Pay attention to what is happening around us.
- Pay attention to what is happening in our body.
- Ask, “what is my best response to this?”.
- Find time later to reflect on the response and ask:
- What are the benefits of my continuing to do this work that earlier I felt I couldn’t do?
- How might I do this work differently?
- What are the benefits of my not continuing to do this work that earlier I felt I couldn’t do? (Just saying, some of my best life choices have been to move on.)
- What story am I telling myself about me, the work, and the benefits?
Work life can be hard, there is no getting around it. It also has those amazing moments where we act on our best qualities and show up for what needs to be done for a better workday, a better life, and a better world.
You have the grit to do it and I’m here for you,
Babs
PS: These works were rattling around in my brain while writing.
- The Fear Knot: How Science, History, and Culture Shape Our Fears – and How to Get Unstuck, by Natashia Swalve and Ruth DeFoster (October 14, 2025)
- Crying at Work: Another New Normal, Korn Ferry (October 7, 2025)
- Convivencia Creates Space for Joy, Tommi Laitio (September 15, 2025)