Hey Babs,
I’m what you might call mid-career and successful. I lead a team of tech service managers who I like, and I believe that what we do is good work that benefits our customers. But here’s the catch, sometimes work feels like work rather than a passion or a calling. I especially feel this when it comes to bureaucratic hoops such as HR forms when I would rather be designing new services or meeting with our customers.
I thought having a successful career would mean that I would feel passionate or on fire or in the flow with everything that I do. Have I read too much into “do what you love and never work a day in your life” or did I pick the wrong career path?
What do you think?
J.
Hey J.,
Thanks for sending this “Hey Babs”. You are not alone with these thoughts and it takes courage to poke at them as you are doing.
You may not want to hear this but since you asked, of course you will have times where work feels like work. That is the nature of showing up somewhere and doing the stuff that needs to be done – some of it will light your fire and some of it will, well, feel like work.
While I don’t have polling numbers to back me up, I’d say that this is the reality no matter the career path. But let’s leave whether you want to pursue a new career path for another time and today we’ll focus on work feeling like work.
I’ve shared this story before and in my books that makes it a classic.
When I was part way through my undergrad degree, I filled out a rather confusing and very long questionnaire in advance of a visit with a career advisor. My scheduled 45 minutes with the advisor ended abruptly when she looked at me with frustration and said, “that’s why they call it work”. It seemed that my 20-year-old self was hoping that my perfect dream career would not include anything that I really didn’t want to do. You know, work. It took a long time for me to let go of this in the face of constant messaging that we, or our careers, are somehow lacking if we aren’t in the constant throes of passion. This notion is incredibly tiring and damaging for our souls and bodies.
Special note here – lots of work is unseen and undervalued for the difference it makes in our lives such as the emotional work and care work that keeps organizations, communities, homes, and people functioning. Additionally, sometimes there is more work than there should be and our personal health and organizational health suffers for it. Long way of saying, when I’m talking about work here, I’m leaving a lot unsaid about disparity and fairness.
Back to work being work. J. it sounds like you know what you enjoy doing and that you have appreciation for the impact of the work and the people around you. Appreciation is deeply linked to purpose and purpose is more solid, sustainable, and impactful in our work lives than passion (don’t get me wrong, a bit of passion can be a good thing). And since we’re here talking about it, appreciation or gratitude is the foundation for a successful, as in happy, life.
J., what would it look or feel like if that appreciation was extended to the bureaucratic stuff like HR forms? What would it look or feel like to pay appreciative and kind attention to all the moments of your workday and career? How might you find and appreciate the purpose in filling out those forms and all the other work tasks that make a difference to others around you, the organization, and your customers?
If you don’t already have an introspective or self-awareness practice, I encourage you to do so. The better we know and understand ourselves as leaders, the better we can show up and do our work. You may find the following helpful – as always take what works and leave what doesn’t.
- Observe and reflect. Start with just one day, like tomorrow. From the time you arrive at work to when you leave, note with friendliness and curiosity all the things you do such as holding open the door for someone as you arrive (I’m making stuff up here), leading a meeting, talking with a new customer, helping a team member, doing paper work, and your cheery good-by as you put on your coat and head for door. Take a moment (believe me you have a moment) to check in a couple of times during the day on how you feel about what you are doing. Just observe, no need to judge or resolve any of the feelings, just get familiar with them. You may discover over time and with the deepening of an introspective practice, that you find yourself with space to be friendly and eventually appreciative of those times when work is work.
- Practice gratitude. If you think it sounds cheesy, I invite you to just try it. Write down your gratitude and say it out loud. Feel the gratitude, breath it in and slowly breath it out. Yeah, that feels good. The more you do it, the more it sticks. You may even develop a downright sincere gratitude for HR forms. I’m still not all the way there with my paperwork, but little steps do make a difference.
- Build community and support. Have lunch or coffee with others in similar work and leadership roles and talk about the reality of career paths and work. Not to complain and drag each other down (chose wise company), but to understand and lift each other up.
Work will sometimes feel like work. How you feel about that on any given day is okay, it just is what it is. With an introspective or self-awareness practice of appreciation and purpose, you can develop space for cultivating a different or easier relationship to those moments that are work.
You’ve got this and you don’t have to do it alone.
Keep in touch,
Babs
Photo by Matt Ridley on Unsplash
I am grateful for your letters and that so many honest and courageous people share their leadership stories with me to share with others. Unfortunately, it is not possible to share all of your letters and stories in this newsletter.
Please note that if you are experiencing a situation that is unsafe, if you are in crisis, or if you are struggling with trauma, that you deserve and need more than I am qualified to give. When it is right for you, please reach out to whoever you trust to get help, your workplace EAP, or a medical or counselling professional.