Kaizen and swearing or not swearing.
In “Reflections” I encourage us to take time to generously and kindly contemplate how we are showing up and to compassionately cultivate and nurture our growth. Reflect your way and use what is available and feels good to you. Get out the coloured markers, sing, dance, go outside and take in the sky, breathe deep, and know that you are not alone as a courageous leader.
Three Thoughts on Resolutions and Goals
Thought One: Life is bigger than any one resolution or goal.
When I was young and over-filled and scattered with ideas and dreams I was stumped by the question “what are your New Year’s resolutions?”. What could I say that wouldn’t require their whole day to hear and make sense of?
I’d be like George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life, where he gets all hot and bothered with Mary Hatch, and says “Now, you listen to me! I don’t want any plastics, and I don’t want any ground floors, and I don’t want to get married – ever – to anyone! You understand that?”, as he pulls her into a rather passionate embrace and then marries her. Who would be prepared for that after casually asking,’“Hey Babs what’s your New Year’s resolution?”.
Thought Two: Resolutions and goals can help us untangle life’s messiness.
George Bailey had a firm goal. In the film he rejects the initial travel trunk shown to him as he stretches out his hands and says “”I want one this big to carry the stickers from all the places I’ll visit.”. He knew what he wanted and what he needed to get it despite, or perhaps because of, the messiness of family and community needs and financial challenges.
I have learned, the long hard way, that aspirations and concrete resolutions or goals can be, along with self-discipline, compassion, acceptance, and support, key to navigating through the messiness of life. The messiness is where we learn and grow. Out of the messiness is the love I have for my family, how I make use of my degrees and certifications, and the gratitude that brings ease to my day. None of it is perfect or permanent, but it sure beats stewing in the messiness.
Thought Three: Be flexible and know when to let go.
Resolutions and goals don’t always roll out as we plan. Love, bank runs (yep, It’s a Wonderful Life), lapsed moments of good judgement, or perhaps a change of mind (turns out one may just not like the gym or the ukulele) can change everything from the timelines to even the resolution or goal.
A New Year’s Resolution for 2025
This year I am going to stop swearing.
So far, I am still swearing but I am taking heart in kaizen.
While I have had the opportunity to study and work with kaizen as a business improvement methodology and some of you will be familiar with the principles of Lean and Six Sigma, the big almost mythical stories of Deming and Toyota, and the kaizen-adjacent practices of agile organizations and agile leadership, this post is not about that.
Instead I am stepping off that path a wee bit to look at kaizen in perhaps a softer light; a kaizen of good (kai) change (zen) at the personal level. The kaizen that balances the continuous improvement with awareness and acceptance of incremental change. The kaizen that sees life as a journey where we each have a responsibility to do our best with what is before us and to create conditions where we can do better.
Kaizen
How am I applying kaizen to not swearing?
- Setting smaller goals. I won’t swear this morning, unless when I get out of bed in the dark I step in a cat hairball on my way to the bathroom.
- Incrementally growing my goals. Tomorrow I won’t swear in the morning even if I do step in a cat hairball.
- Reflecting on forward movement and set-backs as learning. I can’t change what has happened; it is what it is and neither dwelling on unwise self-congratulations or unwise self-recriminations is going to make a difference to my having sworn or not-sworn. Instead, reflecting on what conditions made it easier to swear or not swear, will give me the information I need for taking action.
- Creating conditions for success. I’m influenced by the language of those around me. This means that for the next while I will be avoiding movies and podcasts with swearing. Good thing I’ve already watched Wicked Little Letters.
- Cycle of planning, doing, studying, acting ( à la Deming).
- Got a plan – check.
- Doing it – check.
- Studying – in progress. My study questions include:
- How is this whole trying to stop swearing thing going?
- What am I learning about me, my habits, my discipline, and my bigger vision for how I show up every day?
- Act – in progress. I’m applying my learning to adjust the plan, how I do it, and if need be even the resolution.
- Letting go. To fulfill my resolution, I need to let go of it and focus on my why and how. This isn’t about swearing. Swearing or not swearing doesn’t make me a better person. It is about something bigger; my being considerate to myself and others, however that might best be in the moment.
Reflect (Your Way)
Do you have a resolution or a goal?
- Why or why not?
- How does setting resolutions or goals make or not make a difference in your life?
- How do you support the resolutions or goals of others?
If you have a resolution or goal:
- What is your plan?
- How is your plan flexible?
- How would incremental changes or steps be helpful for your plan?
- What might those incremental changes or steps be?
- What conditions do you need to put in place for achieving your resolution or goal?
- How do you take in and use information, changes, and things beyond your control to adjust your plan and maybe even your resolution or goal?
- How do you feel about seeking advice and support?
- Is your resolution or goal aligned with what is important to you and how you want to show up for yourself and others?
- What is your resolution or goal really about?
As always, reflect your way and with kindness and compassion. You might want to find some time to sit with these questions, to let them sink in, and to get curious about your why and how.
I’m here for you,
Babs
p.s. You can find out more about me and my work in leadership development and as a leadership coach at the Courageous Leaders Project.
Extras
There Is No Mary Problem in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, The Bulwark, “George’s vision of his wife without him is essential to the film, but critics continue to miss its true—and profound—meaning.”
Reflections on Letting Go of Expectations (Courageous Leaders Newsletter)
Reflections on a Full Cup (very popular Courageous Leaders Newsletter 2024 read)
Just started reading The Ritual Effect by Michael North. Some years ago, while chopping vegetables for lunch, I started thinking about householder work and other routine tasks as rituals. I’m loving this book and reading it in tandem with Shunmyo Masuno’s The Art of Simple Living.
Not surprisingly, my thinking on kaizen for personal change is not original. After a quick search in my library’s catalogue I now have a copy (but haven’t yet read it) of Kaizen: The Japanese Secret to Lasting Change—Small Steps to Big and am looking for a copy of Ikigai, Kaizen & Hansei – The Triad of Timeless Japanese Secrets (secrets?) by Makoto Saito,
For a different look at setting intentions, see my friend Daniel Sagona’s first batch of confessions for 2025. Thank you Daniel! (link opens in LinkedIn)
The Science of Big Goals: Make 2025 the Year Your Resolutions Last, Book of the Day from the Next Big Idea Club.
Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Impactful Leaders Focus On Requirements, Forbes.
Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash